16 Apr Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!
Have you ever dated someone and it didn’t work out so you broke up and only after the fact your inner circle said they never thought that person was right for in the first place. I don’t know about you but my response in that situation is generally “why the hell didn’t you tell me?!
Well I’ve learnt recently that it extends further than relationships, this scenario can play out based on your job, where you live or any other personal choices you make. For me, this recently came out with regards to where I was living for the past year. I’ve just left my job and life in regional Vic and moved to Melb and Syd in pursuit of my life long dream to work in TV. Living regionally for a variety of reasons wasn’t right for me anymore so I made the hard decision to leave my job without anything else to go to and hoped my decision would be met with support from my nearest and dearest. And overwhelming it was met with more than support it was met with party poppers and a celebration dance…by all of them! At first I thought it was just because I was moving closer to them, or because I was finally going for what I’ve been chasing for so many years but I realised increasingly it was because they all completely hated where I was living and felt it was the wrong place for me. All of them. I didn’t realise they felt so passionately about it, gosh I half expect to be invited to the facebook support group. Each time I made this revelation I felt once again like saying “why the hell didn’t you tell me?” I don’t know maybe they did tell me but I wasn’t receptive or ready to hear it? Possibly. I stopped to really think about all the reasons they would or wouldn’t tell me and this is all I came up with…
– They thought it wasn’t supportive or helpful once I had accepted my regional job to screw up their face and say eww
– They thought I’m stubborn and it would make me stay longer to prove them wrong (pft why would they ever think that)
– They thought I could handle it given all the moves, changes and challenges I’ve taken on in life
Or maybe quite simply they didn’t think it was their place to say anything. My reaction to this last though is not only is it your place as my inner trusted circle but it’s your responsibility!! Or is it? When someone who you love is doing something or spending time with someone you don’t think is right, is it your responsibility to tell them? I’m not sure. Mostly I think when it comes to me I want you to tell me, even if I’m not receptive, I bite back or I get offended. If you really think it (and you really love me) then I need the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even if I can’t handle it.